BY BOB SHENEFELT
Sure, it’s important to figure out what matters most to us in life, from Health and Relationships to Spirit and Craft. The importance of these areas is significant when setting goals, prioritizing and finding happiness in our lives. Yet. another true key to happiness is figuring out what matters most in areas we call the little things.
The little things are often things that people don't make a big deal about or ask for. These can include small gestures that make us feel important, heard and loved. Or they can be our pet peeves, things that other people do or don't do which bother us. Some examples are just simply wiping the countertops, saying please and thank you, opening the door for someone, sending a birthday card, taking a moment to let someone know you were thinking of them, turning the lights off or just spending quality time with someone.
Every anger, fear or frustration is a learning lesson because we can often link the source of it to one of these little things. It may seem that these things shouldn’t be that big of a deal, but when you think about it a bit more, they often represent something greater.
For instance, if you have told someone in your household to turn the lights off several times and they continue to leave them on, then it is not actually the fact that the lights are on that bothers you so much, but that you may think this person does not listen to or respect what you are asking. The negative emotion associated with these actions stems from not feeling acknowledged or heard in the relationship.
Take a moment to think about what these little things are for you. Do you know what they are and where they stem from?
In iMatter we use several tools that allow people to check in with themselves. One of the tools is The 5 Minute Check-in http://www.imatter.com/storage/5min_checkin.pdf. With this tool we encourage people to share what is going on inside their heads. Once we let it out, we usually start to figure out things for ourselves.
A crucial step to establishing great relationships is to follow the Rules of Engagement. The Rules of Engagement can also help individuals to let the significant people in their lives know what their little things are.