3-3-1 Check-in

The check-in is my weekly look inside. I personally like facilitating my check-in with the assistance of a white board as I’m a visual person. Some people may check-in on their phones, and other people like to write it on paper or use the computer. I answer the same set of questions each week, and then figure out the why behind the answers in the next steps.

The 3-3-1 is my daily check-in and includes:

What are the three things that matter most?
What are my top three action items?
What's my one, if it were up to me?

Then I share it with people around me because any worthy goal truly thought about, written down, and shared is more likely to happen. So even though these people that I'm sharing it with are probably not going to call me and say, did you do your 20 push-ups today? Yet, if I put it out there, if I'm transparent, I'm much more likely to get it done.

Then there is the monthly check-in, the iPlanner.  I check that against my weekly and daily check-in to make sure I stay on track for the month.

The 3-3-1, check-in, and iPlanner are powerful tools in my business that lead to success with less stress. What tools are you using?  

i’M Coach Bob.
Thanks for listening.
Peace.

 

 

Checking In

What is the huge benefit to checking in daily, to quickly assess where am I? What's going on? How am I feeling? What's bubbling up? Some of it's real, and some of it's not. The check-in allows me to list everything that's going on. To find out what matters most, prioritize, organize, and focus on my top three things that are my top action items. And if it were up to me, what's going on. Not only to just help me to prioritize my things to do, but it helps me to eliminate some of the head trash. Often when I do my check-in and I list out a dread moment check-in, I list out a frustration or a fear. And as I write it down, often I realize that is not a frustration right now. Either it's gone, or it's not immediate. That is not a dread right now, it feels like it was, but it used to be. The big benefit to the check-in is to clear the head trash and to focus and prioritize and be exponentially productive. To clear the head trash allows me to be more creative, have more faith in freedom and flow, and ultimately productivity. Clear the head trash. 
Peace
iM Bob
#imatter

Clearing Old Stuff

In relationships, especially those that are deepest, our most important ones, I believe we choose each other. Not only to help each other and because we have things in common and/or don't have things in common. We choose each other to bring up old crap. It's an agreement to a spouse, to a child, to a parent, to a partner. Often relationships get frustrating because these important people care enough and are committed enough to help us grow as individuals and grow in our relationships. But they call out our stuff. They mirror our stuff or trigger our stuff. At the end of the day, it's our stuff, my stuff, not theirs. They had some great revelations recently about how easily I can trigger those who matter most to me and to be aware of that. To know what that trigger is. It's not them trying to hurt us. It's not my stuff. To be aware in the moment, where there is vulnerability for that person who matters most, and to choose to not trigger that and support them. They heal, and I heal. I'm creating a trigger that comes back that triggers me. Pretty simple, but it’s not easy. At the end of the matter, it's about what matters most. Realizing what matters most, clarifying who I am, and to follow my North Star. In creating great relationships, I need to know what matters most to those that matter most. I need to choose to show up around what matters most and who those that matter most to me are. It's an amazing learning opportunity. It's an amazing opportunity to be fresh today and impact the moment right now. 
Peace
iM Bob
#imatter

Today is a Great Day

How do I know that? I am creating it. How do I do that? For me, it's to be present; to be aware, and use the synchronicities that happen in my mind or outside myself. People calling out of nowhere, I'm thinking of someone out of nowhere -- act on it; take a note; make a phone call; send a text; send an e-mail. How do I do that when sometimes I feel stuck? It helps me to flip it to check in -- what is bothering me? Recently, as some fear came up, some anger came up, I realized I was mad at myself. Why have I made all these stupid decisions? Why didn't I do this? Why didn't I do that? I should have done this. I always do that. I never do this. I'm stupid. I let my family down. These are all things that were in my head during the night recently. How do I go from that to making today a great day? Check in. Think about those situations that I was angry or frustrated about. Forgive myself. I did the best I could for where I was at, for the knowledge I had. And think about all the times that I've improved. Think of all the great things I've done, and the people I've affected. Celebrate that. Forgive myself; forgive others. Celebrate what we've done. Do I wish things would have been differently? Yes, but then other things would have been different too. Maybe I wouldn't have met my wife; maybe I wouldn't have had my kids. You know what? I'll take the life I have, and the choices I've made, and I like where I'm at. Today's a great day. I am impacting this moment, those around me, people from my past, people from my future. I choose to be present today; I choose to be me. I am showing up.

Peace.
I am Coach Bob. 
#imcoach #imatter #imauthenticthoughtleader

 

Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff

Life is frustrating, disappointing, and often a drag.  As we are teaching kids about iMatter and flipping it, I don't want to be negative.  But the reality is, life usually doesn't go the way we think it should.  (As we have said before, we don't want to spit on ourselves.  It should be that way, they should do that, but beware of the verbiage. Please check Rules Of Engagement.) The reality is, often people don't do what they say, or do what I think they said, or do what I think they should do. Laugh.  So, while we are trying to teach, when we are teaching, there is disappointment and frustration in life.  People will let us down, at least from what we perceive they were committed to before.  The trick is what do we do with that?  If we think it's not going to happen, we're going to be sadly disappointed, which I think often happens with kids as they realize their coaches let them down, their teachers let them down, and their parents even let them down.  And again, it's not them letting them down, as much as letting them down from what they thought was going to happen.  So, we are setting the stage that there will be frustration and disappointment.  What do we do about it?  Take a second, take a deep breath, forgive them, forgive ourselves, it doesn't even have to be to them. It's just, if we know or if we knew what that person was going through at the time, either they forgot, they didn't realize they were committed to it, they didn't commit to it, then forgive them, forgive ourselves for that role, and move on.  If someone lets me down often, I don't want him or her around.  If it's once in a while, it happens, and I'm sure I've let other people down too.  But the reality is life is tough.  And it's those who know what matters most, know who they are, know why they're here, and are persistent, patient, and keep plugging away, it's going to work out.  The flip side of the frustration of life is as we're persistent, as we learn these lessons, as we are clear with our expectations, and we bring things to conclusion and not leave it out there, magic can and does happen.  Often the great stories of the people who have had wild success, it's when there was disappointment, frustration, another disappointment, another frustration, and they kept plugging, they learned, and they exhibited to themselves and the universe that they learned. That's when then the right person shows up, that's when the other person comes through, and that's when I come through.  Is life frustrating?  Absolutely.  Is it a great time to be alive?  Absolutely.  Flip it.  

Peace.
I’m Coach Bob
#imcoachbob #imatter #imauthenticthoughleader

Life Could Suck...If I Let It

Life could suck, if I let it.  I'm realizing more and more that as I'm getting my stuff together, becoming successful, and feeling successful, I have just as many angers, fears, and frustrations, disappointments, as I had before.  They don't go away.  I've mastered how to flip the anger, fear, and frustration, and it keeps coming.  I think the next lesson I'm learning right now is that it doesn't change, how I flip it does.  It doesn't mean the anger, fear, and frustration, and that feeling of it sucking goes away necessarily.  So, expedite the drama.  There will always be tension, anxiety, lost hope, but all you need to do is flip it.  Make today very productive; it's how I show up during these times of adversity that really shows who I am, and the universe recognizes that and gives me this great opportunity.  Not necessarily easy, and that's not necessarily what life is about.  It's taking the risks, living a bit on the edge, doing what we are here to do, to make a huge difference, to walk away saying awesome.  This great opportunity is a thing called life, especially living in these amazing times.  Welcome to the wisdom age.

Peace.
I'm Coach Bob.
#imcoachbob #imatter #authenticthoughtleaders

The Gratitude Flip

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

My parents were amazing at having a positive attitude, and they just naturally, or learned amazingly well, how to flip a perceptually negative situation into a positive. So not only did they deal with the negative situation, they flipped it to a gratitude.

I'm stuck in traffic in rush hour today, and it’s very frustrating. I flipped it to say I'm grateful I was prepared and left early. I'm grateful I'm not rushing. I'm grateful I don't deal with rush hour everyday. I'm grateful I'm not in an accident. And as I'm grateful, I smile, and I'm appreciative and sure enough, traffic clears up. Thank you, mom and dad, for teaching me to have a positive attitude. I'm grateful I'm learning how to Flip It into creating a positive attitude.

A couple times in the last couple weeks, my daughter has had two cancellations for a sleepover. A) Don’t take it personally and forgive them. B) Think about what you want to do. C) Take action and enjoy it.

This is the iMatter process - think, do, be. Flipping it is much better than flipping out.

 
Peace.
I'm Coach Bob.
#imcoachbob #imatter #authenticthoughtleaders

 

Creating Safe Space

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

At iMatter, we talk a lot about creating great relationships.  And how do we do that.  Creating safe space is one of the Rules Of Engagement.

Creating a safe space is so many things, and one of the simplest explanations that changed my life was one of my first business partners, the amazing Verne Harnish. I called him one day and he's busy, but he still took my call.  I rambled for a bit, and I definitely was frustrated, and I said, Verne, I'm not really sure I know why I called you, and I'm not even sure if I know what I want from you.  What I heard him say was, you needed someone you trust to hear yourself think.  Brilliant!  

I don't know if Verne realized that or not, but Verne taught that to me, and that's what safe space is about.  Trusting someone enough, having faith, and being shown that this person is worthy of your trust to keep it confidential.  To not judge others.  To allow the person to share himself or herself by waiting for them to speak, that’s amazing.  Thank you, Verne.  

Peace.
I'm Coach Bob.
#imcoachbob #imatter #authenticthoughtleaders

 

Flip It for Family

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

Being in a family is not easy. We don't have a choice with who our family is, at least not in this life. Maybe we choose our families, maybe not. It can be frustrating, because we live in close quarters. Maybe we feel safe enough to vent and show our anger and frustration. We often bring up that anger and frustration with each other. We often push each other's buttons. I honestly think we have chosen each other to be able to learn from one another. How do we do this?

First, to realize we are a family, and that's going to be that way for a long time, until I'm old enough to move out, or I go to school, or my kids are old enough to move out or go to school. So why not make the most of it, why not commit to each other that we got each other's backs? I still will often push my wife's buttons, push my kids' buttons, why? I'm not really sure. Yet, as I and we have committed to each other, and we learn how to flip it, it helps if one of the people in the situation who aren’t stuck in a moment, stuck in anger, fear, or frustration, just learns to flip it for the other person's (well-being?).

This morning, I woke up in the middle of the night and had a hard time going back to sleep. I was planning on getting up early and cooking my family breakfast. But I slept later than I wanted to, I got up, I was in a bad mood, why didn't I get up earlier, how come I couldn't go right back to sleep, but instead to take a deep breath, and this takes practice. And flip it to say, I can have breakfast with my family this morning.

Today, I did not have to rush off to work and when the kids came down, I was smiling rather than huffing and puffing, and they were in a better mood. I cooked them a great breakfast. I got everyone off to school on time. I helped out Sheryl, who normally handles the morning routine. I didn't want to flip it. And yet, flipping it at that moment was worthwhile for me and for my kids.

A wise person once told me, get out of the right side of the bed. Flipping it is often like getting back into bed and then getting out of the other side. It makes for a great day, so why not?


Peace.
I’m Coach Bob
#imcoachbob #imatter #authenticthoughtleaders #flipit

 

Flip It To Thrive

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

I find human nature, at least my nature, often starts with the negative.  As a form of self-protection, I focus on what could go wrong.  Using the iMatter tools, tactics, and mindset, I’ve been able to flip this more and more. 
 
When I am able to recognize that I am going into survival mode and that my fear is just trying to protect me, I am able to let it go.  I can find the strength I need to be positive rather than negative. 
 
For 20 years, I was in survival mode and worked so hard to make sure that nothing would go wrong.  This worry didn’t prevent bad things from happening, but it did in many ways delay good things from beginning. 
 
If I flip those negative thoughts and fears,  I can start new projects, new dreams, new goals.  I am no longer just trying to survive, I am learning to thrive.
 
It is a great time to be alive.

Peace
Bob Shenefelt
#imatter #imcoachbob #authenticthoughtleaders

Flip the Fear

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

As I’ve focused and committed to personal growth over the last 20 years, it’s been an amazing ride.  I found a process that helps me to flip fear.  I am growing and changing and things I once feared, no longer bother me.  
 
The frustration is that new fears creep up.  The good news is that the fears I am now encountering are new, different fears.  I am not stuck in my past fears, but I still have fear in my life.  
 
I can’t eradicate fear from my existence, I don’t think we humans can.  We are drama machines.  Fear is a part of our lives. Often though, they are even bigger in scope and intensity.  This can be disheartening.
 
If fear is unavoidable I have two choices.  I can either give up or choose to flip it.  I can can expedite the drama.  I can flip the fear.  I can use the fear as an inspiration.
 
One of my dreads about facing the fear and flipping the fear, is do I have the energy for the fight against the thing that I am fearing?  The big flip here is that it isn’t a fight. 
 
I can embrace it.  I can embrace each fear.  I realize what matters most.  I can clarify who I am and follow my North Star by working through these fears. 
 
Take a deep breath.  It is a lot less daunting when I realize big fears aren’t a fight.  Maybe they are opportunities.  We can use the adversity to transform exponentially to the next level. 
 
It is a great time to be alive. 

Peace
Bob Schenefelt

#imatter #imcoachbob #authenticthoughtleaders

Flipping Failure

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

Part of the Flip It mindset is to rework our concept about failure.  It is amazing how often I feel like I have failed.  I had a vision.  I had an idea.  I often had support and encouragement for the idea.  Many of these visions included money and sustainability.  Throughout my career, I estimate I’ve had 20 to 30 flaming failures, or so I’ve thought. 
 
Then I thought about the example of Babe Ruth.  There are so many quotes associated with his positive mindset.  His unflinching belief that each strike was not a failure but one step closer to the next home run.  His faith in this law of averages helped propel him into the Baseball Hall of Fame and a career home run record for Major League Baseball.  I love this idea.  So if Babe Ruth hit a home run one of out 11 times that he came up to the plate, he celebrated each of those 10 strikes as being one step closer to his next home run. 
 
He is also often quoted as saying, “Never let the fear of striking out keep you from coming up to bat.”  People marveled at his confidence, and even chided him for it.  He was often dumbfounded when people doubted his predictions of home runs.  When asked if he was worried about his predictions being wrong he stated that he never gave these doubts a thought.  I love the perseverance and attitude these anecdotes about Babe Ruth express.  
 
Recently I had, what I initially perceived as a failure, but I’m flipping it.  That was a step not a failure.  A step closer to my next home run.  With persistence, a positive attitude, self-knowledge, and the ability to expedite my own drama, I am that much closer to my next success.  I am flipping that fear, taking a deep breath and smiling.  Fear can be paralyzing unless we flip it.  Flipping it can be transformational and allow me to be exponentially more productive and that much happier.

Peace
Bob Shenefelt
#imatter #imcoachbob #authenticthoughtleader

Bob's Pick: Outwitting the Devil

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

Bob's summary of Outwitting the Devil by Napoleon Hill

What is hell?
Being stuck, feeling trapped. Paralyzed to move forward. Huge doubt. Lack of hope, confidence, and creativity.
Hell is inside of us when this happens.

Is there a devil?
Maybe there is, maybe there isn't.
Fear is the biggest weapon the devil uses to stop us from following our heart. Using love.
The devil wins when we are stuck.

How do we break through?
1. Have a plan, a strategy, a road map. A path to our north star. Where are we going in our life. Why are we here.
2. Mindset - be positive. It's all going to work out. Don't let setbacks stop us.
3. Faith. Love. There is a reason for it all. Even the setbacks.
 
Through adversity is when we are tested the most. To move forward anyway. To believe, to know.
To trust life. Something greater than ourselves. Trust ourselves, our dreams.

Similar to Walsh, did he have a conversation with God? I don't know, but great things to ponder.

Peace
Bob Shenefelt
#authenticthoughtleaders #imcoachbob

3 Reasons to Invest Time and Energy on Self-Improvement

BY BOB SHENEFELT

 

“What am I doing here?”

Have you ever stopped to look at your life and asked yourself this question? During a particularly low point several years ago, I asked myself this, and I didn’t really have a good answer. I knew I needed to make some changes to find happiness and balance. As I searched for what mattered most to me, I created some simple tools to help me focus. I started to have a more positive mindset, and others noticed that the “new Bob” had a renewed sense of purpose and lots of energy. I realized the tools I developed for myself could also help others, and I discovered a new passion: helping others to get the life they really want. 

So based on my experiences, here are my top 3 reasons why you should invest time and energy on self-improvement:

1. To create a positive mindset

Self-improvement helps me to create a positive mindset, and when I’m feeling positive I’m more productive. Life throws a lot of things at me. Some situations create frustration and anxiety, but instead of wallowing in those uncomfortable feelings I learn to “flip” a struggle into a positive: I focus on the opportunities for growth, and then I’m able to spend my time wisely.

2. To create great relationships

As I am exploring self-improvement and personal development, I learn more about who I am and what is important to me. When I know who I am, I can then learn to share myself in a safe space with those around me. I can develop great relationships with my kids, my spouse, my clients and my community.

3. To feel fulfilled

As I start to know who I am and take this journey of self-improvement and personal development, I have a lot more peace, fulfillment and joy.  I'm present in the situation, as opposed to being worried about the future or regretting the past.

Visit imatter.com to explore the tools and tactics iMatter offers to help you on your self-improvement journey.

I’m Bob Shenefelt and this is iMatter. Peace.